• Blog
  • Published
  • About
  • Contact / Subscribe
Menu

Midlife Run

Running, Parenting & Living Well in Midlife
  • Blog
  • Published
  • About
  • Contact / Subscribe
Santa Barbara, CA

Looking Back to the Beginning of This Run as a Measure of the Distance Traveled

May 20, 2015

It is a fact of life that most of us can pretty well pinpoint when we hit “bottom” – whether that be emotional, physical, mental, or a combination of all three.  The bottom can be deeper and darker for some as compared to others, but no matter the distance to get back to the surface and into the sunshine, we all have this in common: if you want to get out, you have to take the first step.  If you are lucky, you have family, friends, or faith to throw you a rope or to reach out a hand – but the key is you have to grab on and also put your own effort into climbing out. 

Physically, I hit bottom in January 2014.  After years of paying only passive attention to my own health, an excruciating year culminating in the passing of my father more than took its toll.  I could feel it. I could see it. I finally decided that it was time to do something about it.

On the recommendation of a close friend, I signed up for Kaia – basically a boot camp for women, run by Kaia Koaches who have a thing for pink tutus and spell every possible word with a “K” (“You KAN do it!”).  But, if the workouts were so great that they could get the-smartest-woman-I-know (hi Yali!) to look past the whole“K” thing, then who was I to argue?

And so it was that I found myself in 6:00 am Kaia Klasses where happy, fit Kaia Koaches shouted encouragements as they led us through sets of burpees, jump-squats, pushups, and other forms of unique physical torture designed to make us stronger.  And then one day, the sweaty, impossibly hard workout paused for a set of “functional fitness” exercises.  I thanked God for a few minutes of respite as I sat down on the floor for a minute’s worth of “get up stand ups”.  This exercise is exactly what it sounds like: you sit on your rear, you roll back onto your shoulders, then roll forward to your feet and come up to standing.  In short, stand up.

Pfft.  Piece of cake.

Except it wasn’t.  I couldn’t do it.

And that’s when things really started to change.  It was no longer about bathing suit season or trimming a few pounds.  It was now about preserving the ability to play on the ground with my children, nephew, and someday grandchildren and being able to get up off the floor.  It was about going on vacation and having my family suggest an activity and being able to have the physical ability to say: “yes – I’ll join you!”  Hiking? Sure … how far do you want to go? Surfing? Just call me Gidget – let’s catch a wave!  Whatever it is you want to do, let’s do it together – except maybe snorkeling, but that has more to do with my irrational fear of yellow tang.

I spent the better part of a year working out with Kaia, getting stronger, and getting it drilled into my head by the coaches that I really could do this, to set my intentions for the day, and to go after it.

I’m on a Kaia sabbatical right now as I focus on running, with my fourth Half Marathon since last fall now on calendar and the NYC Marathon set for November 1.  It took a lot of effort to get me from that day on the gym floor to where I am now, and I’m not done yet.  But it is important for me to pause and remember that inauspicious beginning, and express thanks to those who lent a hand or offered words of encouragement along the way, especially to those who may not know how much of a difference they made.  So, I am taking the time today to say thank you to the coaches.  Just so you know, on long difficult runs, I can still hear you telling me that I Kan Do It. 

Yes, spelled with a “k”.

 

 

← Run Pairings: BBQ EditionThe Top 5 Reasons I'm Glad My Kid Is Graduating from High School and Heading to College →

Latest & Greatest

Featured
This Is Fifty
November 1, 2019
This Is Fifty
November 1, 2019

When I first started this writing space and was trying on different names for what ultimately became Midlife Run, I struggled. Solidly in my forties, the idea of attaching the word “midlife” to anything seemed like an unwelcome, uncomfortable stretch reserved for the after-fifty set. But I settled into the name, comforted by the knowledge that I was on the “early side” of midlife. Not so any more. Last month we dropped our youngest at college thus marking the beginning of the “empty nester years” and today, as I start to write this, I turn fifty. I am solidly, undeniably, in midlife.

Read more →
November 1, 2019
It's Almost Here: The Empty Nest!
August 19, 2019
It's Almost Here: The Empty Nest!
August 19, 2019

In my memory, I cannot think of a more seismic shift in our marriage than when we had children. The first sign that our world was about to be rocked actually happened when our first bun was still in the oven and we were standing outside of a Denver bar.  It wasn’t late, we were with good friends, and good times were being had by all, especially by those (not me) enjoying a night of craft beer and pool. By that point in my pregnancy, my body was changing and bulging, I had given up caffeine, alcohol, and hot baths and traded them for binge-eating apples. My pregnancy and impending motherhood were feeling tangibly real in a way that it wasn’t (yet) for my husband. And that night, with festivities just warming up, I was standing by the car asking my husband not to go in and to come home with me instead because I was exhausted and sick with pregnancy. If you ask him now, he doesn’t remember that night. I do. In his eyes and in his body-language was a man coming to terms with our new and changing reality. As we looked at each other we silently acknowledged that our lives would never be the same. What we want, what we do, how we see the world, and how we prioritize our lives no longer involved just the two of us. There was going to be a third member of our family, and eventually a fourth, and nothing, ever, not even a night out with friends, would be quite so simple any more.

Read more →
August 19, 2019
Lucky Me   (Guest Post by Andrew J. Pridgen)
May 20, 2019
Lucky Me (Guest Post by Andrew J. Pridgen)
May 20, 2019

My excuses for why I’m not going to perform well in a race while I toe the starting line roll up like opening credits in a movie. Written by: Lack of preparation, Directed by: Insecurity, Executive produced by: My shoes don’t feel right, Casting by: I can barely breathe and my ankle already hurts. Starring: Me.

Read more →
May 20, 2019
Walk Slowly with Me
April 3, 2019
Walk Slowly with Me
April 3, 2019

Our family is not one to stand still. We fall easily into the pace of rushed crowds on New York City streets, and we barrel ahead in pursuit of goals. We move forward, and then we move forward again. Even our family walks seem to be driven, marching along familiar neighborhood paths, distracted by conversation, and, for the past twelve years, led by our trusty furry companion, Lucy, whose entry into our family was the very thing that initiated this nightly routine.

Read more →
April 3, 2019
New Year's Resolution: Do One Thing
January 13, 2019
New Year's Resolution: Do One Thing
January 13, 2019

I have a shrink-wrapped cork board leaning against the wall to the right of my desk, clearly within view. It’s been standing sentinel in the same spot for months, waiting for me to deal with it and daring me to get on with it already. Its purpose is to be a vision board of sort, a place for me organize my goals, to lay them out in a way that my left-leaning brain can process and check them off, mixed together with other bits designed to spark my still developing right-brain to creativity. I look at that cork board regularly with the same dread that someone with writer’s block stares at a blinking curser on a blank screen.

Read more →
January 13, 2019
NYC Marathon: Challenge, Growth, and Celebration
December 9, 2018
NYC Marathon: Challenge, Growth, and Celebration
December 9, 2018

When you tell someone – especially a non-runner someone – that you are going to run a marathon, you’re generally met with some version of a respectful “that’s great … good for you.” Contrast, when you tell someone that you are going to run the NYC Marathon, there’s a special, heightened aura that surrounds what surely, inevitably, will be nothing short of an epic race.

Read more →
December 9, 2018
Life’s a Journey ... The Road to NYC Marathon 2018
November 3, 2018
Life’s a Journey ... The Road to NYC Marathon 2018
November 3, 2018

Mostly, though, there has been an extraordinarily emotional undercurrent to this training cycle because it is impossible for me to look forward to this marathon without looking back to my 2015 NYC Marathon, and examining with wonder how one stacked series of events can make your whole life pivot until you find yourself on a trajectory you never could have imagined. 

Read more →
November 3, 2018
Creating Space, Building Strength
September 15, 2018
Creating Space, Building Strength
September 15, 2018

In my ordinary life, there is room for writing, for running, for meaningful conversations, and for balance. My life right now is not ordinary. It is frenetic, and it is all but consumed by a single work endeavor. It leaves me starving for sleep and time with family, it led me to write a middle of the night SOS to my coach about my NYC marathon training, and it is accompanied by a level of stress and adrenaline that can keep me going now, but in the long run is unsustainable. Gratefully, I am not alone in this experience, and I have my ultimate support crew (husband and family) behind me. 

Read more →
September 15, 2018
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Because There Will Be Plenty of Big Stuff: Reflections on 25 Years of Marriage
June 27, 2018
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Because There Will Be Plenty of Big Stuff: Reflections on 25 Years of Marriage
June 27, 2018

Certain milestones simply make me pause. Today is a big one – our 25th wedding anniversary. By any measure, that is a legitimately long time to spend marching through life next to the same person. It has me looking back in wonder about how we got to this point, looking forward trying to guess what is ahead, and reflecting broadly about what I know now about the two of us together and the life-long project of building a marriage. Unsurprisingly, I have a few thoughts.

Read more →
June 27, 2018
That Family Place
March 29, 2018
That Family Place
March 29, 2018

When my Dad was young, the annual family pilgrimage took them to Lake Tahoe during the summer, where his family would stay in a small cabin on the north shore, the boys would catch crawdads between the boulders jutting out from the Lake, and skip smooth, flat rocks over the water’s surface. I know these things because when my parents took my brother and me to the same lake shore, and years later after the next generation joined us, my parents would tell the stories. The connection to Lake Tahoe is now four generations deep, and with every new year and new family member or friend who joins us, the memories deepen and years of family stories from this special place transform into epic lore.  

Read more →
March 29, 2018

WelcomE!

The obligatory "about me" ...

I am a California attorney, wife and mother to two teenagers.  Thanks to some fierce prodding by my brother and unwavering support from my family, I started to write again (hence, the blog), and to run again (training for the New York City Marathon). After all, if you are going to get in the game, you might as well go all-in. You can find out more about my story here. 

  • running
  • living
  • marathon
  • midlife
  • training
  • NYC
  • Chicago
  • goals
  • teens
  • parenting


Powered by Squarespace