• Blog
  • Published
  • About
  • Contact / Subscribe
Menu

Midlife Run

Running, Parenting & Living Well in Midlife
  • Blog
  • Published
  • About
  • Contact / Subscribe

That Extra Mile

February 9, 2016

After much thought, I have concluded that there are two types of runners. There are those who have to run like they have to breathe. Whether it is 25 degrees and snowing or a sweltering 95 outside, they will figure out a way to get in their miles and beat their bests, motivated by the pure joy they derive from the sport. For them, running is an inseparable part of who they are and, absent injury, it seems to the outside observer that nothing will ever hold them back. Then there is a second class of runners who, for want of a better metaphor, need a carrot (or the promise of guilt-free chocolate) to entice them out the door. I have to confess that as much as I want to put myself in the first category, when it comes to challenging myself during my runs, I am more of a carrot-and-stick type of gal.

I received a lot of credit for training for and finishing the NYC Marathon last fall, and I often hear some version of “I can’t believe you did that”. What I want to say in response is that when it comes to running, signing up for the NYC Marathon was actually the easiest decision I ever made because, for me, my best motivation is having a goal and reward to chase.

There was no mystery involved in what I had to do to train up to the marathon, even more so because I was lucky enough to have a coach who dictated and remotely monitored each run, and prescribed each distance, pace, workout, and rest day. It did not matter if I did not feel like running fourteen miles on a given Sunday, because if Coach John wanted fourteen miles out of me that day, I was not going to fall short. Set a goal, meet or beat that goal. Done.

My problem lies in the in-between months, when I do not have a race in my immediate future that I am training for, let alone a coach telling me what to do. What do I do when it is up to me to decide how far and how fast to go, and how hard to push? It is an unsettling place for me to be, mostly because I am worried about failing a test that does not even exist unless I write it.

The obvious answer to my dilemma is to define my year’s goals, map out a race schedule, and plan my runs accordingly. I am working on it. In the meantime, I have days like Sunday, out for a solo long run, with a vague idea that I might run nine miles, maybe more or less depending on how I was feeling. By mile eight, I reached an intersection where I could easily bail out and hit the nine-mile finish line at my driveway. Turning there would have been an easy decision: nine was a solid run, there was no compelling reason to run more, there was no coach to answer to, and, frankly, I was running late to my own Super Bowl party. On the other hand, I knew I had more in the tank and in that moment the thought of being able to write a double digit “10” on my calendar instead of a mere “9” was sufficient enticement to keep me going. That does not always happen.

But on that day, I ran the extra mile.

But this actually is not the point to this story. If I did not run that extra mile, I would not have seen the woman who was running ahead of me. There is a long straightaway in the last half-mile before our house, and with the path laid out ahead you can see whoever it is that you trail. Yesterday, it was a woman, about my age, who seemed to be struggling and alternating between a walk and a slow jog. Before the path curves left, there is an underpass and a hill, and when she hit the bottom of that incline I fully expected to see her walk. Instead, as soon as she hit the base, she increased her speed to a jog and did not stop until she reached the top. If I knew her or had more courage to engage, this is what I would have asked her: What made you run up that hill? Because whatever it was, I want to harness it. What I witnessed was strength and will. And the next time I have to decide whether to go that extra mile, and I think no one is watching, and no one is telling me what to do, and I am tempted to take the easy way out, I want the same strength to push me forward instead. Just like she did.

 

Tags running, living
← Running (and Life) Lessons We Can Learn from the ElitesThe Quest for Balance →

Latest & Greatest

Featured
This Is Fifty
November 1, 2019
This Is Fifty
November 1, 2019

When I first started this writing space and was trying on different names for what ultimately became Midlife Run, I struggled. Solidly in my forties, the idea of attaching the word “midlife” to anything seemed like an unwelcome, uncomfortable stretch reserved for the after-fifty set. But I settled into the name, comforted by the knowledge that I was on the “early side” of midlife. Not so any more. Last month we dropped our youngest at college thus marking the beginning of the “empty nester years” and today, as I start to write this, I turn fifty. I am solidly, undeniably, in midlife.

Read more →
November 1, 2019
It's Almost Here: The Empty Nest!
August 19, 2019
It's Almost Here: The Empty Nest!
August 19, 2019

In my memory, I cannot think of a more seismic shift in our marriage than when we had children. The first sign that our world was about to be rocked actually happened when our first bun was still in the oven and we were standing outside of a Denver bar.  It wasn’t late, we were with good friends, and good times were being had by all, especially by those (not me) enjoying a night of craft beer and pool. By that point in my pregnancy, my body was changing and bulging, I had given up caffeine, alcohol, and hot baths and traded them for binge-eating apples. My pregnancy and impending motherhood were feeling tangibly real in a way that it wasn’t (yet) for my husband. And that night, with festivities just warming up, I was standing by the car asking my husband not to go in and to come home with me instead because I was exhausted and sick with pregnancy. If you ask him now, he doesn’t remember that night. I do. In his eyes and in his body-language was a man coming to terms with our new and changing reality. As we looked at each other we silently acknowledged that our lives would never be the same. What we want, what we do, how we see the world, and how we prioritize our lives no longer involved just the two of us. There was going to be a third member of our family, and eventually a fourth, and nothing, ever, not even a night out with friends, would be quite so simple any more.

Read more →
August 19, 2019
Lucky Me   (Guest Post by Andrew J. Pridgen)
May 20, 2019
Lucky Me (Guest Post by Andrew J. Pridgen)
May 20, 2019

My excuses for why I’m not going to perform well in a race while I toe the starting line roll up like opening credits in a movie. Written by: Lack of preparation, Directed by: Insecurity, Executive produced by: My shoes don’t feel right, Casting by: I can barely breathe and my ankle already hurts. Starring: Me.

Read more →
May 20, 2019
Walk Slowly with Me
April 3, 2019
Walk Slowly with Me
April 3, 2019

Our family is not one to stand still. We fall easily into the pace of rushed crowds on New York City streets, and we barrel ahead in pursuit of goals. We move forward, and then we move forward again. Even our family walks seem to be driven, marching along familiar neighborhood paths, distracted by conversation, and, for the past twelve years, led by our trusty furry companion, Lucy, whose entry into our family was the very thing that initiated this nightly routine.

Read more →
April 3, 2019
New Year's Resolution: Do One Thing
January 13, 2019
New Year's Resolution: Do One Thing
January 13, 2019

I have a shrink-wrapped cork board leaning against the wall to the right of my desk, clearly within view. It’s been standing sentinel in the same spot for months, waiting for me to deal with it and daring me to get on with it already. Its purpose is to be a vision board of sort, a place for me organize my goals, to lay them out in a way that my left-leaning brain can process and check them off, mixed together with other bits designed to spark my still developing right-brain to creativity. I look at that cork board regularly with the same dread that someone with writer’s block stares at a blinking curser on a blank screen.

Read more →
January 13, 2019
NYC Marathon: Challenge, Growth, and Celebration
December 9, 2018
NYC Marathon: Challenge, Growth, and Celebration
December 9, 2018

When you tell someone – especially a non-runner someone – that you are going to run a marathon, you’re generally met with some version of a respectful “that’s great … good for you.” Contrast, when you tell someone that you are going to run the NYC Marathon, there’s a special, heightened aura that surrounds what surely, inevitably, will be nothing short of an epic race.

Read more →
December 9, 2018
Life’s a Journey ... The Road to NYC Marathon 2018
November 3, 2018
Life’s a Journey ... The Road to NYC Marathon 2018
November 3, 2018

Mostly, though, there has been an extraordinarily emotional undercurrent to this training cycle because it is impossible for me to look forward to this marathon without looking back to my 2015 NYC Marathon, and examining with wonder how one stacked series of events can make your whole life pivot until you find yourself on a trajectory you never could have imagined. 

Read more →
November 3, 2018
Creating Space, Building Strength
September 15, 2018
Creating Space, Building Strength
September 15, 2018

In my ordinary life, there is room for writing, for running, for meaningful conversations, and for balance. My life right now is not ordinary. It is frenetic, and it is all but consumed by a single work endeavor. It leaves me starving for sleep and time with family, it led me to write a middle of the night SOS to my coach about my NYC marathon training, and it is accompanied by a level of stress and adrenaline that can keep me going now, but in the long run is unsustainable. Gratefully, I am not alone in this experience, and I have my ultimate support crew (husband and family) behind me. 

Read more →
September 15, 2018
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Because There Will Be Plenty of Big Stuff: Reflections on 25 Years of Marriage
June 27, 2018
Don't Sweat the Small Stuff Because There Will Be Plenty of Big Stuff: Reflections on 25 Years of Marriage
June 27, 2018

Certain milestones simply make me pause. Today is a big one – our 25th wedding anniversary. By any measure, that is a legitimately long time to spend marching through life next to the same person. It has me looking back in wonder about how we got to this point, looking forward trying to guess what is ahead, and reflecting broadly about what I know now about the two of us together and the life-long project of building a marriage. Unsurprisingly, I have a few thoughts.

Read more →
June 27, 2018
That Family Place
March 29, 2018
That Family Place
March 29, 2018

When my Dad was young, the annual family pilgrimage took them to Lake Tahoe during the summer, where his family would stay in a small cabin on the north shore, the boys would catch crawdads between the boulders jutting out from the Lake, and skip smooth, flat rocks over the water’s surface. I know these things because when my parents took my brother and me to the same lake shore, and years later after the next generation joined us, my parents would tell the stories. The connection to Lake Tahoe is now four generations deep, and with every new year and new family member or friend who joins us, the memories deepen and years of family stories from this special place transform into epic lore.  

Read more →
March 29, 2018

WelcomE!

The obligatory "about me" ...

I am a California attorney, wife and mother to two teenagers.  Thanks to some fierce prodding by my brother and unwavering support from my family, I started to write again (hence, the blog), and to run again (training for the New York City Marathon). After all, if you are going to get in the game, you might as well go all-in. You can find out more about my story here. 

  • running
  • living
  • marathon
  • midlife
  • training
  • NYC
  • Chicago
  • goals
  • teens
  • parenting


Powered by Squarespace